Lightning, Thunder
strike Beantown

Bruins, NHL Lightning

Picture is worth 85 seconds.

Thunder and Lightning…

Both struck with brutal effectiveness this weekend – at the expense of the Bruins and Celtics…

But first the Red Sox. Heading into Sunday’s game, Boston was 17-10 since its 2-10 start. The starting pitching (see Clay Buchholz and Josh Beckett at Yankee Stadium) has solidified for the most part. Adrian Gonzalez, meanwhile, is on a rampage and leads the AL in RBI. Wondering if the next time Joba Chamberlain throws over Kevin Youkilis if Youk will respond with 3 home runs…

Bruins, NHL playoffs

Bolted shut. Dwayne Roloson stopped the Bruins cold in Game 1.

Back to the Bruins. Tampa Bay scored 3 goals over an 85-second span in the 1st period to put Game 1 on ice. Two of them made Tim Thomas look bad. The Lightning’s infamous 1-3-1 spread and offensive stars left the Bruins a bit bewildered. Then there’s the issue of Boston’s “Powder Play” – which is now 2-for-41 in the playoffs. Claude Julien is sticking to his unloaded guns here and said Sunday that he doesn’t plan to make any changes. “Let’s not overanalyze this situation,” Julien said…

Uh, Claude, telling Boston fans not to over analyze is like telling Shaq he can’t have ice cream when you take him to Friendly’s…

Dwayne Roloson – the UMass-Lowell product – choked off whatever offense the Bruins tried to generate by stopping 33 of 35 shots in Tampa Bay’s 5-2 win. At 41, Roloson is 2 years older than his coach – Guy Boucher - and almost old enough to start for the Celtics…

Game 2 is Tuesday. With or without Patrice Bergeron – the Bruins need to cannot afford 25-second lapses, never mind 85-second breakdowns. The Lightning are not the Canadiens and won’t blow a 2-0 series lead heading home…

Throw in the 1st-place Rays and Tampa may be a mecca for baseball, hockey and lap dancing…

Kevin Durant

Okie Dokie! Thanks for the help, K-Perk.

We’ve been consistent with our opinion of the Kendrick Perkins deal since it happened. Perkins and his Oklahoma City Thunder are headed for the Western Conference finals. Sure, Perk didn’t pour in 39 points like Kevin Durant or post a triple-double like Russell Westbrook. But his presence down low gave them the time and space needed to snuff out Memphis. Meanwhile, against Boston, LeBron, D-Wade and Bosh owned the paint like Rembrandt.

The flip side. What’s the first step in recruiting great players? Lock up a great coach – which is what Celtics did with Doc Rivers. After next season, they’ll have loads of salary cap room to lure, er, a star like Dwight Howard.  And image if KG and Ray Allen would be willing to take a hometown discount to stick around and play with Superman? After 2012 – Boston will likely have as much available money for D12 as any other legit contender and will definitely have the best coach for any of Mr. Kent’s would-be suitors…

Plus, Doc lives in Orlando, so they can also carpool to work…

Last word on the Perkins trade (until next time). Sunday, Perkins played 22:50 and scored 5 points, Since Feb. 1, Shaq played a total of 16 minutes and scored 8 points. Those three points were all the difference, huh?…

Shaq - hardly statuesque.

A 900-pound statue of Shaq at LSU? I saw that sitting on the end of the Celtics bench in Game 5. And where do they plan on putting the other half. Heck, the Shaq action figure weighs 800 pounds…

Sure you heard of the Oklahoma criminal who had asked the judge to extend his 30-year prison sentence 3 years to honor Larry Bird. He’s having second thoughts. Now we know how Danny Ainge is feeling these days. If I get arrested, I’m telling the judge I’m a Robert Parish fan…

Kudos for Oprah to standing up to NBA Commissioner/Mob Boss David Sterleone – forcing the Bulls to play Sunday night. I just hope she doesn’t own a horse. And here’s some advice for Oprah’s pal Gayle - avoid the Tollway…

Orlando Sentinel columnist Mike Bianchi questioned last week if Tiger’s recent playing woes and physical decline were – perhaps – the result of long-term alleged PED use. Bianchi cited Tiger’s association with Anthony Galea, the Canadian doctor who flew to Orlando to treat Tiger. Galea is accused of illegally distributing HGH and also treated roid-master A-Rod. If he did indeed use, Tiger would defintely make my all-time PED foursome – along with Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds and Ah-Nuld. Now the sports world is dealing with blood spinning, HGH, steroids and other assorted PEDs – or as the Chinese Olympic team calls it – breakfast…

Bon Jovi was in Orlando Sunday on their “Mid-Life Crisis Tour.” They sang their new hit — “Badly Needed Medicine”…

Ted Williams

39-0 vs. North Korea.

Joe DiMaggio began his 56-game hitting streak 70 years ago this week. Speaking of Joltin’ Joe, Paul Simon has a new album, it’s available on I-Tunes, CD and 8-track. More impressive than Joe’s streak, Teddy Ballgame’s run of 39 combat missions over Korea…

Obnoxious Boston Fan can be reached at obnoxiousbostonfan@hotmail.com. You can follow him on Facebook. And he can be heard Monday’s on “Open Mike” with Mike Bianchi on 740AM the Game in Orlando.

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About Obnoxious Boston Fan

Obnoxious Boston Fan is the official fan-focused column and blogger for Boston.Com, a Boston Globe-owned web site. Since its debut on Boston.Com in September 2011, his blog has had more than 2 million views, plus he's had more than 1.5 million combined views on his unique photo/info galleries. We drop perspective on the Red Sox, Celtics, Bruins, New England Patriots and whatever else people are talking about in the world of sports. OBF is a Bay State native, a life-long fan of Boston teams and an award-winning sports journalist who worked in 3 time zones before settling in warm and sunny Florida. Thanks to technology and his 24/7 passion for all things Beantown, he's never far from Causeway Street, Yawkey Way or Patriot Place. You can follow his Facebook page or follow him on Twitter at @RealOBF.
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